4/26/09- 28 weeks!!

Sooooo, this pregnancy acid reflux crap is REALLY getting annoying.
I NEVER had it this bad until I got pregnant.
If you've never had an ulcer or acid reflux....it sucks. It's like a feeling of nausea and that you're going to get sick....but topped with like a burning esophagus/throat. Literally feels like your throat is on FIRE. And being pregnant, there's only so many things you can take, and you can only take so much of it.
I've been trying to stay away, or only eat in moderation things that cause that. But it's hard and it sucks because I crave chinese and italian. Chinese can be greasy, which you're supposed to stay away from. And Italian isn't any better. I am alwayssssssss in the mood for eggplant parmigiana and pasta! Always. And the tomato sauce has acid in it that can be bad for people with acid reflux. So yeah. But I was fine when I woke up today, and only ate a bagel with a tiny bit of butter. Laid back down at around 9:30, and woke up at 11am with my throat feeling like it was going to explode!! So unfair.
Oh well. All I know though, is that after I have the baby my body get back to normal.....at least internally, lol. I can diet and workout to get myself un-fat. But if my insides decide to keep giving me stomach problems, BOY ARE WE IN TROUBLE!! I will be one unhappy camper.

On another note...
Most chicks don't want to admit that they are scared to giv birth and become a parent. I have no problem telling the truth. I feel no need to pretend I've got it all together. No one has it all together, so maybe the world would be a better place if people stopped pretending they did, and got real. Some people may have it more together than others, but there's no need to throw it in people's faces acting like super-employee, or super-mom, or whatever. I have a few friends who are parents who constantly feel like other are putting them down, and they feel inferior. I want them to know they aren't, and they are doing a great job.
And with that said, yeah, I am scared shitless to give birth. And while I am excited to be a parent, I know it's going to be hard and be different. It's never easy. It's one of the biggest adjustments you will ever make in your life. And I know I can't get away from all the people who want to give advice, but the ones who do it condescendingly get on your nerves. Does that make sense? Some parents are ill-prepared, or don't have a real idea of what raising a child is about, or know much about babies. But my family and true friends know how educated I am. I may not have done it for my own child yet, but I do think I know more than a lot of first time parents do, and people who really know me, know this. I know I will be sore, and tired, and breastfeeding can be a pain, and the baby will be crying constantly, and I won't get any sleep, and you can go through more than 12 diapers a day for a newborn, etc etc etc. I know. I do.
I appreciate the people who goodheartedly want to be there for you, and tell you stories, and give advice, but some people just act like such know-it-alls, and talk down to you. It gets on your nerves a lot. So for my beautiful friends who have had babies, I commend you all for not beating the crap out of people who got in your business and overstepped their boundaries!!
I've got a good husband, who plans to help all he can, even though he may not have much experience. I have an awesome family, who I know I can rely on at any time of the day or night. My mom has 5 kids. She gets it. I already know that if I am overexhausted, or just need some time away for a few hours, she will be there for me, and always help. I know not everyone has that, but I do, and am so thankful. My friends are pretty great too, although most aren't up for watching newborns, lol. I know if I need something they will be there for me.
I've been babysitting since I was 11 years old. And I've been babysitting little Liam since he was 2 weeks old. So I have the general idea of the shitty stages that kids go through.
I think I'm truly more scared of the actual birth, than of afterward. Afterward I've got a great support base, and people can help me out. No one can help you push the baby out!! Not literally anyway, lol!! I know my mom and Matt will be there for me emotionally and whatnot, but I'm terrifying of pushing this kid out!! (And yes, don't worry, I do already know all the gory details).

Anyway. I am pretty excited for my shower. I'm sad some people I really care about won't be able to be there, but I know that they are just as sad/upset as I am.
Jess is moving next week to Texas and while I couldn't possibly be more happy for her, I'm not sure I could possibly be sadder at the same time. You only get so many friends in your life that can be your friends no matter what. No matter whether you talk everyday, or have that phase where you haven't talked in 3 months. Through the petty fights, and the job stress, and college, and boyfriends, and when neither of you have time for each other. There's this point a few years after high school where you realize who will ALWAYS be your friend. I'm lucky enough to have a handful of these people, and Jess is one of them. Kelly just better not leave me too though!!
Jess leaving is actually part of the reason I started this blog.
Like I said before, Facebook and Myspace are nice for 'events' and pictures, and little updates.
But to truly be able to keep in better touch with people, and keep them updated I was inspired by Lindsey's blog to start this bad boy. Maybe I will try to get Jess to use hers too!! (She had to make one for a class in college, lol, she will probably be surprised I remembered). But then she can keep us updated on her new job and life in Texas.
Now if only I can remember to keep writing in this, and not get bored and give up after a few weeks, I will be very proud of myself. I'm sure after the baby is born I will always have something to talk about anyway :-)